Grunt
30min | English |
Welcome to the world of
Grunt the Magnificent
An immortal crocodile vampire rules over a backward but miserable little kingdom with an iron fang — but in this land of imbeciles, strange creatures, and collapsing infrastructure, even dictatorship is a bureaucratic nightmare.
*adult puppet show, Married With Children meets the Addams Family
Meet Grunt:
Epitome of Evil. Fisted for Centuries.
Generalissimo Gruntin S. Veizatun, better known as Grunt is a very very naughty individual. He's ten thousand years old and a bloodthirsty crocodile vampire. Worst of all, he finds golf exciting. Grunt is not only the most morally depraved creature in history, he's also the ruler of a small country in Eastern Europe known as Transfatylvania. Where nuclear winter is its only season, diabetes is airborne and contagious and the children of the night won't shut up.
Watch as Grunt endures his equally awful population, and deals with the most important pressing issues of the day. From firing squad budget cuts, possessed dummies stealing his credit card to armadillo infestations, there's always a problem. Because even as the overlord of awfulness...sometimes it ain't easy being Grunt!
Generalissimo Gruntin S. Veizatun
LIKES: Human suffering, his wife, Thanksgiving dinner, bloodshed, junk food, watching Bob Ross paint.
DISLIKES: Humanity, Tom Brady, Tom Brady's face, his people, his house, his clothes, his country, himself, finding scrap metal in his Mexican food, Tom Brady.
The Ticket Taker
123-456-7890
Queen Pyrella Kauldronovich Veizatun
LIKES: Burning things, her husband, freezing things with liquid nitrogen and then burning them, beheadings.
DISLIKES: The lack of profanity in children's television, things that are not on fire, Halloween, falling houses, water.
The Ticket Taker
123-456-7890
Algor Manslayv
LIKES: Eating insects, grave digging, rats, driving in his electric hearse, funerals, Caddyshack II.
DISLIKES: Grunt giving him a time out, the voices in his head, global warming, the invisible clown that only he can see.
The Ticket Taker
123-456-7890
Colonel Heinz Von Hindenburger
LIKES: Plotting to overthrow Grunt, toiling away on his zombie hamburger experiments, blimping while intoxicated, the History Channel at 3 AM.
DISLIKES: Grunt, people asking him about his horrible past, vegans, health inspectors, living with himself.
The Ticket Taker
123-456-7890
The Ticket Taker
LIKES: building unsafe theme park rides, violence, bodily harm, money, rigging carnival games, hitting his own head with an oversized mallet.
DISLIKES: Class action lawsuits, tourists not getting shanked, safety regulations, sanity, mimes.
The Ticket Taker
123-456-7890
Madame Klahmadea Kauldronovich
LIKES: Ripping people off, pretending to be a fortune teller, driving her son in law through the roof, complaining, talking about her medical issues at dinner.
DISLIKES: Grunt, being told what to do, the fortune cookie industry stealing her business, people asking her for lottery numbers.
The Ticket Taker
123-456-7890
Mr. Freckles
LIKES: Get rich quick schemes, screwing people out of their money, screwing Grunt out of his money, selling faulty products at insane prices, gambling.
DISLIKES: Getting caught, alimony payments, playing fair, losing at the blackjack table, Grunt justifiably beating the tar out of him,
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Here is Grunt's official show poster. Currently on display at a Transfatylvanian public bathroom
Grunt's family crest. It's a bat thingy with Grunt's face on it, which is better than the original flag which was a Grunt with a bat's face on it.
Transfatylvania. Grunt's cold and miserable motherland located between Transylvania, Transylvegan and a horde of saxons.